Top 5 Reasons Why Zombies Hate Digital Signage

Published on: 2015-02-05

The zombie apocalypse could happen at any time, so we're going to share a little-known secret with you: Zombies get really annoyed with those digital advertising screens in malls, offices and other places. Here are the top 5 reasons why zombies hate digital signage -- and how you can use that information to outsmart the living dead.

#5 The content isn't very useful to a zombie audience.

So what if milk is on sale this week? Zombies want to know where they can find large groups of unprotected humans and get a fresh serving of brains.

#4 Zombies are socialists -- they hate ads.

Zombies don't care about personal property. As long as there are enough brains to go around, the hopes and dreams of any individual zombie are irrelevant. Thus, the living dead are annoyed by capitalist content like advertising.

#3 The images are distracting to beleaguered zombie eyes.

Bright and colorful images may distract the undead from their primary mission: finding humans to eat. In general, any content that might trigger epilepsy in Japanese children is going to piss off the zombies too. (Hint: animations from 8-bit NES games are a good place to start.)

#2 Humans can use the screens to send messages to other humans.

Even if some people don't have cell phones, the screens provide another way for humans to communicate. People in the know can send SMS messages to the screens or update a news ticker, helping others flee to safety.

#1 There are lots of digital signs in malls.

Zombies have an instinctive desire to trap people in shopping malls. Or maybe people just tend to congregate there. Either way, malls are chock full of digital signage screens, which makes the effects we've listed here even more annoying to zombies.

Bonus Reason: Killing a zombie is much easier when you've seen it on video.

Ignorance is a zombie's best friend. When people see a step-by-step video of how to kill a zombie, it's a lot more effective than just hearing instructions on the radio or reading a brochure. And educated people are harder to track down and kill. Bummer.

What About Human Viewers?

Luckily, zombie invasions are pretty rare. So what should you do with those digital signs during times of, um, peace? It turns out that the same strategies that work during the zombie apocalypse are pretty handy for regular digital signage content. To learn about making content that gets your message across without driving viewers to madness, check out our articles on how to design beautiful and effective content.

Until next time, stay safe -- and remember to stock up on canned goods and blunt objects for the weekend :)

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